Don't compare your loss with the loss of others
Each death is different. Each bereavement is unique.
When it is the death of a child, it is the death of your future
When it is the death of a parent, it is the death of your past.
When it is the death of a spouse, it is the death of the present.
Your grief is your own.
No one can know how you feel, No one can shoulder the pain for you.
But there can be solace in the presence of others..
people who love you and want to help,
people who also mourn the loss of your beloved.
And there can be solace in the rich sources of our Jewish faith.
Bikkur Holim is a mitzvah incumbent upon every Jew, not just upon the rabbi or cantor of a congregation...If every member of the community takes it upon him or herself to visit the ill, then the entire fabric of the community may be changed. We then create more loving, caring and connected Jewish communities. When we perform the mitzvah of bikkur holim, we are acting in the image of God and modeling ourselves on God's behavior. (Nancy Flam et.al. Acts of Loving-Kindness
Washington, DC 20008